Deeper than Physical Pain
I do not do well with devotions.I do not do well with passage memorization, with peace, with Keeping my eyes fixed on what Jesus desires for me. I often make the wrong choices, I can overly stress out when there is no reason to be, or Quit when I don’t need to.
But there is something bothering me this whole week. Something my mind has been fixed on…something I wonder.
Why dont we know the rest of the story?
Jesus (and, btw, I hate how I specifically make the name Jesus out to be this meek, mild dude walking around…When in spanish culture, the name is very common)…Felt. He was betrayed by Judas…He was sent to be killed…murdered, mutilated on a device used for execution (the cross). The crowds chose him over a mad man (Barabas)…and I wonder how that felt. I wonder how that played on his mind.
In the Garden of Gethsemane, he was so stressed…blood drew from his head. I have been stressed before, I have felt like my brain was going to short circuit at some points, Ive cried, yelled…wanted to curl up in a ball and retreat….but have never drew sweats of blood. He asked his Dad to take the cup…He showed fear. If there was any other way…
There Wasn’t. Jesus was obedient. He carried his own death pardon…His Cross. ((For we did not know what we did….))
The moment before his death…He took it all;
Guilt, shame, lying, adultary, sexual desires, pride, lust, envy, gluttony, strife, bitterness, un-forgiveness…We sing about it in church…we reflect on the nails going through his hands and feet…the crown on his head, the cross used for capital punishment, the thieves on either sides. One asking for forgiveness, the other mocking.
(((Forgive them father)))
But really…think about it. What am I trying to say?
-How does sin, my personal sin affect me? -How does my personal sin affect others?
-How do my friends sins, personal choices affect me? -How does the choices of media affect me? My heart has broken for both my personal choices of sin and for others.
—-How would a Whole World of sin…past, present and future affect me? Who would I be?
(((My God, My God…why have you forsaken me???)))
As the world turns black for one minute, and all that Jesus sees is…me. You. My enemy…and in that, the murmured words…
–It is finished—
Was he even in his right mind as he felt something so much deeper than physical pain?? Did he miss the fact that he was on his cross, something that all of time will now use as a symbol of Gods love for us? (that they even killed Gods disciples on a upside down cross???) Would he have just hung there…lived longer if it wernt for all of the sins he experienced…and the pain that brought to Jesus in His Never ending LOVE to us? His Dad had to look away, because He knew the pain.
—The Pain is deeper than I will ever know—
My personal thoughts for the day.
